One of the most basic skills is the ability to listen to what others have to say.  Listening for understanding takes significant effort. Here are some insights

1. Remain silent until the other person has finished making their point. After the other person stops speaking, ask for clarification with a question like “let me be sure that I understand what you are saying”, then paraphrase her words to be sure you have gotten your point accurately.

2. Be curious rather than defensive about a different point of view. Ask the other person to add more specifics about their comments and ask with genuine eagerness and excitement to learn more abut their ideas. You might say “Please, tell me more”. Or, you might say “That is a very interesting perspective, tell me more”.

3. Use both nonverbal and verbal cues to convey understanding. These might include gestures like nodding you head in agreement, leaning forward slightly as you listen, or verbal responses like “um hum” or “I understand”.

 4. Give the other person your full attention. Do not multi-task or let your mind wander.

 5. Don’t say “But”. The word but negates all that you have said.

This entry was posted on Thursday, February 25th, 2010 at 7:39 pm and is filed under Leadership. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.